Talking About IF

How much do other people know about your infertility?

We never told anyone when we decided to start ttc. Why would we? "Hey, we're going to make a baby!" It just isn't something most people do, right? But we had been married for almost 7 years when we started ttc. I'm guessing most people don't wait that long. For us, we waited because of different reasons. I guess at first, we just wanted to be married and enjoy it just being the two of us. Then it was we'll wait until after we finish our degrees. Then it was let's wait until we have a house. (Well, I was ready much earlier than Steve, but since it takes two to make the decision...we waited.)

We tried for about 8 months and talked with our family doctor and my obgyn about some things we thought might be issues. We started the process of having an SA done. Then my family doctor and the obgyn suggested we see an RE, a reproductive endocrinologist. That's when we decided to talk to our immediate families about us having some issues. I guess we mainly did it for the support. It's hard enough going through all of this. It's even harder when people make comments or ask when you are going to start to have babies. I guess I figure if people know, they will be more sensitive.

Most people have been supportive. I have had a couple of instances where someone has said things to me that have hurt my feelings, and it has caused me to shy away from them with any IF news. I guess it's just a self-protective kind of thing. I don't want to feel hurt by anyone else's opinions or comments.

I guess I was wondering if it would have been easier had we not said a thing about what we've been going through. I don't think it really would be easier. In fact, I would probably feel so much more isolated and upset. I guess right now I feel like I have to censor myself with certain people and that's tough enough.

Do you talk about your IF issues with anyone? Are you glad that you do?