This past Wednesday night we had our home visit for our home study done. We think it went really well. We talked about our house, our neighborhood, and our neighbors. We mentioned how we have a great park nearby with a splash park (I can't wait to take our child there someday...it looks like so much fun!) We also talked about how we have a library and schools nearby. We gave a tour of our house. Then we talked about what happens next. We should be on the waiting families list fairly soon - we're waiting for the final home study report to be written and then we have to wait for the proof copy of our profile to arrive. After we approve the proof, they will print up 50+ copies of the profile and we'll attach our photos to them. Then we'll send them back to the agency, and they will distribute them to their different offices.
We are both so happy to be at this point. I know I wrote it before, but I really do feel hopeful now. I know it's going to take time for everything to come together, but I feel like we are really going to become parents through adoption.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Our Individual Interviews
Our individual meetings went well. We were there for about 2 1/2 hours. I went first because I was so nervous. We looked at the photos we had taken over the weekend. I had sent a copy of our edited profile last night. We need to make a couple of minor changes. All of our reference letters are in (yay!) Our fingerprint results came back. We turned in our medical forms, too. At this point, we need to make a final draft of our profile, choose the final 5 pictures, choose the layout/colors for our profile, and send it all to the agency with another check. We'll be doing that over the next week or so.
After all that, we were interviewed separately. We talked about growing up, our parents, our siblings, our childhood memories, our religion, our jobs, any family history of violence/substance abuse, our relationship, etc.
We both felt like it went well. We feel so much relief to be to this point already. Now we're moving towards the home visit!
After all that, we were interviewed separately. We talked about growing up, our parents, our siblings, our childhood memories, our religion, our jobs, any family history of violence/substance abuse, our relationship, etc.
We both felt like it went well. We feel so much relief to be to this point already. Now we're moving towards the home visit!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Just wanted to write a quick update. We have our next appointment tomorrow night. I'll try to write an update when we get home, but it might be too late.
We have been really busy. We retook photos this weekend. Hopefully we took some that will work. I'll try to post some when I get a chance. We also rewrote our profile. We'll take that with us tomorrow. We've been working on the house, too. I just want to make sure everything is really organized!
We have been really busy. We retook photos this weekend. Hopefully we took some that will work. I'll try to post some when I get a chance. We also rewrote our profile. We'll take that with us tomorrow. We've been working on the house, too. I just want to make sure everything is really organized!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Interview #1
Well, it went really well. We were both a bit nervous before we went into the office, but we think it went well. Our case worker asked us a lot of questions. We spent about an hour with her. She went through questions about us dating, our marriage, us as parents, and confirmed some things we had written on our paperwork.
When we got home we jotted down some of the questions we were asked in case you are interested:
How did you come to choose adoption?
Do you know any birthmothers? Do you know anyone who has adopted? Was adopted?
How did you meet? When?
What caught your attention about the other person?
When did you marry? Previous marriages?
How would you describe your marriage?
How would you want your relationship to be with your child?
What is your philosophy on raising a child/discipline?
Will you work FT? PT? Stay at home?
How does your family feel about you adopting?
How would you deal with a family member that had a problem with the adoption?
Our case worker is going to read our profile tonight and talk to us about it tomorrow. We will probably have to make some changes here and there. We also looked at our photos and narrowed down the bunch. We'll be retaking some of them, too, so that they are as clear and bright as possible.
So far, so good. We're getting there...
When we got home we jotted down some of the questions we were asked in case you are interested:
How did you come to choose adoption?
Do you know any birthmothers? Do you know anyone who has adopted? Was adopted?
How did you meet? When?
What caught your attention about the other person?
When did you marry? Previous marriages?
How would you describe your marriage?
How would you want your relationship to be with your child?
What is your philosophy on raising a child/discipline?
Will you work FT? PT? Stay at home?
How does your family feel about you adopting?
How would you deal with a family member that had a problem with the adoption?
Our case worker is going to read our profile tonight and talk to us about it tomorrow. We will probably have to make some changes here and there. We also looked at our photos and narrowed down the bunch. We'll be retaking some of them, too, so that they are as clear and bright as possible.
So far, so good. We're getting there...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Home Study
I have been wanting to write an update, but this is the first chance I've had. We have been doing so much for our home study and have been so busy.
I think the last time I wrote, I had mentioned how we were about to go to our first meeting that was part of the whole home study process. We went to it and met our caseworker. She ran the meeting/class. She's really nice. She went through the whole process from start to finish; they talked a lot about openness in adoption vs. closed adoptions of the past; they talked about birthparents, etc. They sent us home with a huge binder of information, plus more forms to fill out. We had to have fingerprints done, and get physicals from our doctor. We also have to work on our profile. We had to write out a birthmother letter and then information about ourselves and where we live. They will have all of it printed professionally and we'll add our photos to it. You wouldn't think that would take so long to write, but when you want it to sound just right, it takes forever! Plus, I'll make a change and then Steve will make 5 changes...that's how it goes. :)
Tomorrow night we meet with our caseworker for our first interview together. The next Monday night we meet to have our individual interviews. After that, the caseworker will be coming to our house for the home visit to make sure our house is safe.
After all of this part is done, we will be in the "pool" of waiting families. There are about 100 couples waiting right now. It could take up to 2 years to be chosen (if we are ever chosen, because some couples aren't chosen...I hope that doesn't happen.) If a birthmother has an adoption plan set up with the agency, she looks through the profiles of the waiting couples and can choose one from them or from online. So, the agency isn't choosing you, the birthmom is. We just have to hope that someone will really connect with our profile.
On top of all of this, it has been very busy at my school. We've had so much going on, including state testing. I worked late at school, too, because I had volunteered at one of our festivals in the evening.
We celebrated our 9th anniversary this past week, too. We went out to dinner together and tried to keep our eyes open since we were so tired!
I guess that's everything for now. We're both excited to be putting everything together - I think it makes us feel more hopeful than we've felt over the past 2+ years.
I think the last time I wrote, I had mentioned how we were about to go to our first meeting that was part of the whole home study process. We went to it and met our caseworker. She ran the meeting/class. She's really nice. She went through the whole process from start to finish; they talked a lot about openness in adoption vs. closed adoptions of the past; they talked about birthparents, etc. They sent us home with a huge binder of information, plus more forms to fill out. We had to have fingerprints done, and get physicals from our doctor. We also have to work on our profile. We had to write out a birthmother letter and then information about ourselves and where we live. They will have all of it printed professionally and we'll add our photos to it. You wouldn't think that would take so long to write, but when you want it to sound just right, it takes forever! Plus, I'll make a change and then Steve will make 5 changes...that's how it goes. :)
Tomorrow night we meet with our caseworker for our first interview together. The next Monday night we meet to have our individual interviews. After that, the caseworker will be coming to our house for the home visit to make sure our house is safe.
After all of this part is done, we will be in the "pool" of waiting families. There are about 100 couples waiting right now. It could take up to 2 years to be chosen (if we are ever chosen, because some couples aren't chosen...I hope that doesn't happen.) If a birthmother has an adoption plan set up with the agency, she looks through the profiles of the waiting couples and can choose one from them or from online. So, the agency isn't choosing you, the birthmom is. We just have to hope that someone will really connect with our profile.
On top of all of this, it has been very busy at my school. We've had so much going on, including state testing. I worked late at school, too, because I had volunteered at one of our festivals in the evening.
We celebrated our 9th anniversary this past week, too. We went out to dinner together and tried to keep our eyes open since we were so tired!
I guess that's everything for now. We're both excited to be putting everything together - I think it makes us feel more hopeful than we've felt over the past 2+ years.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Update
Well, the agency got our application, and we are on the list for Tuesday night's Domestic Adoption Awareness meeting. We just found out last night that we will be meeting our caseworker at this meeting -- now it feels very official!
I think we're going to try to do a few more things around the house this weekend. We have so many odds and ends that we (okay I!) want to make sure are done prior to a homestudy.
I think we're going to try to do a few more things around the house this weekend. We have so many odds and ends that we (okay I!) want to make sure are done prior to a homestudy.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Adoption Application
Steve and I spent a lot of time working on our application yesterday. We are almost done. We still need to find some info on our health/life insurance. I also need to draw a floorplan of our house (or find one from when we bought our house.) Then we will copy everything and send it on its way.
We have two books to read -- Dear Birthmother and Adopting After Infertility. I started D.B. and Steve started A.A.I. So far so good. Both books are required reading for the domestic program.
We are taking tomorrow off to work on organizing things around our house. Of course, we probably don't need everything to be done, but we'll feel better by doing it. I am going to try to organize the laundry room and the computer/guest room. If it doesn't rain, he is going to work outside in the yard.
We aren't really sure what we'll need to do for our actual home study, but it feels good to be productive.
Today we went to a cider mill and apple orchard with my sisters. We wanted to take some pictures and we thought it might be a good place. (Plus I LOVE cider mills...it reminds me of being little!) We are hoping that one of the pictures could be used for our profile. The agency puts a picture of the adopting parents on the cover of your profile. Then you write little captions for the other pictures inside your profile.
We have two books to read -- Dear Birthmother and Adopting After Infertility. I started D.B. and Steve started A.A.I. So far so good. Both books are required reading for the domestic program.
We are taking tomorrow off to work on organizing things around our house. Of course, we probably don't need everything to be done, but we'll feel better by doing it. I am going to try to organize the laundry room and the computer/guest room. If it doesn't rain, he is going to work outside in the yard.
We aren't really sure what we'll need to do for our actual home study, but it feels good to be productive.
Today we went to a cider mill and apple orchard with my sisters. We wanted to take some pictures and we thought it might be a good place. (Plus I LOVE cider mills...it reminds me of being little!) We are hoping that one of the pictures could be used for our profile. The agency puts a picture of the adopting parents on the cover of your profile. Then you write little captions for the other pictures inside your profile.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Today's Consult
We had our consult today at the adoption agency. It went really well. Of course we were both so nervous. I know I barely slept last night. I kept having these crazy dreams, and then I would wake myself up from them. I do that when I'm anxious.
We met the director of domestic adoption. She was really nice and made us feel very comfortable. She told us the history of the agency and then told us about the adoption process. She said the average adoption (domestic) takes 12-24 months with their agency. The birthmothers choose you and then you are matched. They have about 90 waiting families right now. They place about 100 babies per year.
So now it's up to us to take the next step. We need to fill out the big formal application and mail it in with a check. Then we would go to a domestic adoption meeting either in October or November. After that we would move on with the Home Study.
We both left there feeling really positive and a bit overwhelmed. I'm glad it went so well.
We met the director of domestic adoption. She was really nice and made us feel very comfortable. She told us the history of the agency and then told us about the adoption process. She said the average adoption (domestic) takes 12-24 months with their agency. The birthmothers choose you and then you are matched. They have about 90 waiting families right now. They place about 100 babies per year.
So now it's up to us to take the next step. We need to fill out the big formal application and mail it in with a check. Then we would go to a domestic adoption meeting either in October or November. After that we would move on with the Home Study.
We both left there feeling really positive and a bit overwhelmed. I'm glad it went so well.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Our first appointment
The agency called us yesterday and left a message. I called them back today and set up an appointment for a consult. It's next Tuesday!
What questions should we ask?
I have lots of adoption books here at home. I'm going to start going through them tonight. (I've been reading mostly memoir-style books about adoption, but I'll pull out the informational books, too.)
When I made the call I was so nervous! I had butterflies in my stomach! This is such a big exciting step for us.
What questions should we ask?
I have lots of adoption books here at home. I'm going to start going through them tonight. (I've been reading mostly memoir-style books about adoption, but I'll pull out the informational books, too.)
When I made the call I was so nervous! I had butterflies in my stomach! This is such a big exciting step for us.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Our Next Step
Steve and I spent the last two weeks talking about what we wanted to do next. We looked at all of the paperwork that we had from the adoption agency that we liked. We talked about whether we should go forward with international adoption or domestic adoption. We decided that we are going to pursue domestic adoption - We are hoping that we will be able to adopt an newborn infant, so domestic looks like the way to go. We decided to send the form in now, especially since it will probably take a while before we have our consultation appointment set up.
I dropped the form in the mailbox today!
I have to say - it's a good feeling. A really good feeling. For the first time in a very long long time, I feel hopeful that this will lead us to a child.
I dropped the form in the mailbox today!
I have to say - it's a good feeling. A really good feeling. For the first time in a very long long time, I feel hopeful that this will lead us to a child.
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