We are heading towards IVF

Well... let me back up a bit. On Tuesday night, we went to an information meeting about adoption. It was with the same agency that we had spoken with before. This meeting was about international and domestic adoption. They gave us a lot of great information. We got to meet 2 families who used the agency for adoption, too.

On Thursday, we had our IVF consult. It went really well. We came home with so much information - our heads were spinning! We'll be doing IVF at the very end of February. This is basically what my protocol will be:

• CD3 Bloodwork and start BCP in January. (Minimum of 2 weeks on them, but up to 6-8 weeks.)
• Trial Transfer and saline sonohystogram - ? not sure when
• Lupron shots in my thigh or stomach - this suppresses your ovaries. (For 10 days by itself.)
• Bravelle/Menopur shots in my thigh/stomach - these stimulate your ovaries (For 10-12 days) and continute Lupron shots at 1/2 the dosage.
• Lots of ultrasounds and bloodwork throughout cycle.
• Ovidrel - 2 shots 36 hours prior to Egg Retrieval.
• More bloodwork.
• Egg Retrieval done under IV sedation.
• Start Progesterone injections in hip every other day and Endomtrin suppositories 3x/day on the off days.
• Egg Transfer 3-5 days later done with valium or IV sedation.
• Estrogen patch along with the progesterone/endometrin.
• Blood pregnancy test.

It's a lot. But we're really excited. And nervous. And scared. But really excited!

We had a bottle of champagne here, so last night we toasted to "2008: The Year of the Baby!" (See, we're being positive!)

Waiting for Cycle 19

I know cycle 19 is just around the corner. I am starting to not feel well, so I know it's only a matter of a few hours.

I'm tired of the waiting. I was hopeful that maybe this cycle, just maybe, it would work out and it would happen for us. Then we wouldn't have to go through IVF. Now I just want to hurry up and have the IVF cycle get here. It's this limbo part that I can't stand. I feel like I'm sitting back doing nothing, you know?

I've been pretty down. I'm feeling lonely, too. I just wish someone would ask how I'm doing with it all without me having to be the one to bring it up. I feel like everyone is probably sick of hearing me talk about it, so I've tried to stop. But I end up keeping it all inside and feeling bad like I do now.

I wish I could go away for a few days. Maybe take a mini vacation. I know the holidays are around the corner, but I have a feeling they won't be very restful.