Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mother’s Day…remembering…

Mother’s Day, before Zoe came along, was really hard for me to handle.  All weekend long, no matter where we went, strangers would assume you were a mom and wish you a happy Mother’s Day.  It was  a reminder of what we really wanted – a family – and what we didn’t have yet.  I remember wishing that someone would acknowledge how I was feeling and say that they were sorry we were going through this and that they were there for me.  I know that not everyone who is dealing with infertility may feel like this, but I just wanted to say that for those of you who are dealing with it, I am sorry and I hope your journey to your child is a short one.  You ARE thought of on Mother’s Day.

This is also related to Mother’s Day…I heard really good news recently.  Not one but TWO friends are adopting!  I’m so happy and excited for both of them.  The first friend is my friend, B, and her husband J that I mentioned in my last post!!  So happy for them to be starting their classes soon.   They are going to be such great parents – they are so funny and just wonderful friends.  I can’t wait to hear about every step of their adoption.

Another friend of mine, Lostinspace, recently shared on her blog that they, too, are adopting!  She just wrote about it here:  Forgetting to Remember to Forget.  It’s been a long journey for them to this point, too, and how great is it that a new one is beginning?

Both friends are considering open adoption, which leads me to this…I wanted to end my post by saying how much I appreciate Zoe’s birthmom.  Z is the reason that we’re parents and the reason that I also get to celebrate being a mom.  Not a day goes by when I am not thankful for her decision.  Zoe is always going to know who she is and what she’s like – and Zoe will  have lots of love all around her.

It’s kind of funny how when you first get married and you’re thinking of having kids, you don’t think about all of the things that might happen or might not happen.  You (or at least I did) tend to assume things will be easy and you’ll become a parent on your own timeframe.  (I remember thinking about how I could plan when we got pregnant, so that I could have have my maternity leave from work and then the summer to stay home with our baby…that seems like ages ago!)    And of course, if you’re reading this, you know that didn’t happen that way for us.  And yet, I can’t imagine not having gone through what we went through because every bit of it led us to our daughter.  Her little laugh, her peek-a-boos, her dancing…I just can’t imagine our lives without all of those things. 

I hope that whatever journey or road you are on that it takes you to where you want it to go.  If you are a birthmom, I hope you have peace in your heart this Mother’s Day and know that you are remembered.  (Z – we love you so much, and are so glad we got to see you just a short time ago.)    If you are an adoptive mom or a waiting parent (whether through adoption or through trying to conceive), I hope that the process is quick and your little one finds you soon.

And Mom and Cheryl – I hope you both have a wonderful Mother’s Day, too.  I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my mom and all of the things she taught me as I was growing up.  She’s full of love, patience, and kindness.  And I know Steve is who is because of everything his mom, Cheryl, did to raise him and help him become the wonderful man that he is.  You definitely taught him to work hard but take time to enjoy his family, too.  Thinking of you both and love you, too!

5 comments:

Barb P. said...

Beautifully written Wendy! John and I are so lucky to have you, Steve, and Zoe in our lives. You are and will always be my best friend! Love ya lots sweetie!

Al said...

I don't post often, but read faithfully. But I need to tell you that this beautiful post has brought me to tears. Thank you for giving hope to all of us waiting and reminding us that our feelings are ok to have.

I hope you have a wonderful Mothers Day with your sweet girl.

Anonymous said...

I cannot tell you how proud I am of you and Steve and how you are continually trying to help other people. Your precious Zoe is such a huge blessing to our entire family.

Love, Mom

birthmothertalks said...

Thanks for your sweet words. It means a lot to me.

Brenda said...

Awwww, I love this, Wendy. So many beautiful sentiments and so many beautiful women in your life. If M and I can be half as good of parents as you and Steve we will be so grateful. xoxo