Friday, June 29, 2012

Speaking at Our Agency about Open Adoption

Three years ago we were working on completing our home study.  We were taking pictures like the one below to possibly add to our profile, and we were preparing to adopt by attending Waiting Family meetings that our agency offered.  We really looked forward to going to the meetings.  It was great to hear other people who had been through this speak about it.  We were able to hear birth mothers as well as adoptive parents speak about their experiences .  Attending one of these meetings and hearing a couple and their daughter’s birthmother talk about their relationship really helped us in deciding that we wanted to have an open adoption as well. 


We were working on the future baby room and doing summer-type things.  I had gone on a Girls’ trip to Chicago with my friend, Barb.  We had such a great time together and were getting ready to go out for our last night there, when Steve called me.  It was June 26th.  He said that the agency had called us about a situation that they wanted to discuss with us.  He didn’t get the  message until after he was already home from work, so the actual office was closed and he couldn’t call them back.  We found out the following Monday that we had been linked with Zoe’s birthmom, Z.

This past Tuesday night (June 26th)  we were able to celebrate the day we got THE CALL by speaking at our adoption agency about openness.  We were one of three couples invited to speak to a group of waiting families about our own experiences, thoughts, and feelings.  It was such an honor to be asked and really special to be able to participate on such a special day for us.  For an hour and a half we answered questions from one of the agency’s caseworkers as well as families who attended the meeting.  We talked about things like had we always known we wanted an open adoption, has our original agreement changed at all and how, what do visits with our child’s birthparents look like, what is our relationship with our son or daughter’s birthparents like, and how do we talk about adoption with our child.  It was really interesting to hear how everyone’s answers were so different and yet we had a lot of similarities as well.  Even though we were incredibly nervous (public speaking is not that easy for either one of us, and yes, I am a teacher, but I speak in front of children not adults), we were so happy that we could be a part of the group that spoke.  We wanted to share a little bit about what our relationship is like with Zoe’s birthmom as well as her family.  They gave us permission to share some pictures of our visits at the meeting with the group.  We have a really positive relationship with Z and her family and we wanted to talk about it and encourage others to consider more openness in their future adoptions.  It was a great experience.


Taken about an hour and a half before the meeting; Zoe wanted to wear her Adoption Day bracelet to match my bracelet.


birthmothertalks said...

I love that your speaking about open adoption. Hope your story inspires a soon to be adoptive parents to have an open adoption.

Wendy said...

Thank you, Birthmothertalks. It would be great if one (or more) of the couples who were there decided to have more openness.