Adoption Buddies and Our Summer Bucket List

In the blink of eye it is already June 24th.  I’m not sure how that happened.  We have had so much going on this past month, and this is the first chance I have had to really write a blog post.  This weekend and last weekend were just as busy as the first part of June when Zoe’s birthmom was here to visit.  We had friends here from Boston; they arrived this past Friday night, and we were able to show them around our town a bit.  We spent a very hot but fun afternoon at the zoo and a very fun evening (just adults) at a baseball game.

Our friends, L and B, and trying to convert our little one into a Red Sox fan!  They brought her lots of gear to get her started.

The game was really fun to watch.  Our home team won, and they ended the night with an amazing fireworks display.  I have never been so close to fireworks before…exciting and yet a bit scary all at the same time.

Like I said, our weekends have been jam-packed.  Not only were our friends visiting, but I was helping host a bridal shower for my cousins on Sunday, so part of last week was spent helping my family get ready for that.  We also had a few get togethers with some of Zoe’s friends, and we even met up with a new group of friends through our adoption agency.  I had heard from our caseworker that some adoptive moms were starting a playgroup and were looking for others to join.  We spent part of Friday at a local park hanging out with them.  While the kids played, we parents were able to share our stories with each other.  It was a pretty neat day to meet other moms from our agency who have been through the process before.  We are planning on more trips and visits over the summer.

In addition to that, I got it in my head that I really wanted to take Zoe strawberry picking!  Yes, it’s actually on the summer bucket list I have posted on our refrigerator!   One of Zoe’s friends and her family had  just been, and I decided we had better do it before the berries were gone.   We went to one of our favorite orchards on Thursday and luckily they still had “lots ‘o’ berries.”

I loved how Zoe would step carefully over the rows and call, “Here’s a good one, Mommy!”  It was very sweet. 

I can remember picking berries with my parents, sisters, and grandparents; Zoe will have that memory, too. 

I am sort of writing in reverse…so I guess I’ll skip back to last weekend.  We celebrated Father’s Day by going to a local historical place that also had a car show.  It was right up my Dad’s alley. 

Zoe wanted to give Steve and my dad their gifts before we left…a handprint painting  and a photo collage for Zoe’s Daddy and a stepping stone for Grandpa’s garden and a pair of baseball tickets.  We made our own wrapping paper this year…pretty good likeness, I would say!

She looks like she’s grown so much when I look at that last picture…where has the time gone?

The day before Father’s Day was spent on a mini-road trip.  Zoe and I drove to our state’s capitol to meet up with our friends.  M met us there with her son C, and R met us there with her son M.  I am friends with M and R through an online adoption group.  I am beyond lucky and fortunate to know these two ladies and their little ones.  It’s amazing to me how even before we all met, we felt such a sense of connection to each other.  M and I and the kids had met a few times over the past couple of years.  The six of us got to meet each other for the first time last summer when we had a picnic and spent the afternoon at a splash park.

We had a picnic on the grounds of the Capitol building, and the kids had chased each other and checked everything out.  C  had a book about our state, and he knew all about our capitol!

We spent the rest of the day at a nearby zoo and explored the different exhibits…got to wander around, pet some goats, go for a pony ride, and see a white peacock, too!

We may have spied Spiderman nearby…the kids were slinging their “webs” at him! 

And at a few times throughout the day, the ended up hand in hand just like little buddies should.  I am so thankful for our friendship and the way adoption has brought us together.

A visit with her birth mom

We invited Zoe’s birth mom to come for a visit over the past few days.  We were so happy to see her, especially since the last time we saw her was September! 

We met her at the airport, and someone was super excited to greet her…

We had talked with Zoe about what she wanted to do with Z while she was here visiting us.  Her answers weren’t a shock to us:  play and eat ice cream.  I like the way she thinks!  We made sure that the trip included both.  We got caught up a bit the first day and visited.  Zoe probably could have used a nap because she got a bit tired/cranky in the afternoon, but she felt better after getting some rest that night.  We did get to talk about family, school, and how Zoe looks more like she’s in kindergarten and not a 3 year old! 

We met up the next day, and Z and her boyfriend got to see Zoe dance at her tap dance class.  She did a really great job!  (Only one more to go, too…I think we’ll be signing her up again.)  We met up with my parents and sister for lunch and then headed to a place called the Robot Garage.  Zoe loves it there – lots of Legos, Duplos, and other building toys for kids (and adults…we all played with them!)

We spent the next day at a local park and playground.  We had dinner together, and Zoe was thrilled to have a sleepover party with her birth mom.  She had it all planned out!  They painted little birdhouses for each other, ate ice cream (of course!), and watched her birth mom’s favorite cartoon movie. 

Zoe let Z sleep in her bed, and Zoe slept on her little mattress next to her.  She and Z listened to the story book that Z had recorded for her.

Z said Zoe was a chatterbox at bedtime.  She would think she was drifting off, and she would ask her a question.  And another.  And another.

We spent one day at a pool and indoor water park.  I know Zoe loved doing that, and  Z got to spend a lot of time with her there as she splashed around and tried to get everybody else wet, too.  We had fun outside with Zoe’s bike (which she really just started riding for the first time during this visit – Go Zoe!) and drawing with chalk on our driveway.

   

(please ignore the cracks in the driveway and the weeds…)

The last day of Z’s trip happened to fall on Zoe’s Adoption Day.  We felt pretty lucky to spend it with Zoe’s birth mom.  We took a trip to a local pottery studio where she and Z painted a little Hello Kitty figure and a Hello Kitty box.  I painted a little bowl.  Zoe had a very green kitty as you can see from the picture below. 

Every Adoption Day, we plan to do a couple things – let her pick out what we do for the day and to add a little charm to a bracelet for Zoe.  Her first year we bought the bracelet and the “Z” charm.  The 2nd year was the heart charm.  Last year Zoe chose the camera charm because I would take pictures of her and she would take pictures of me with her little pretend camera.  And this year she chose…drumroll please…an ice cream charm!  I know, you’re shocked, aren’t you?

The visit ended with a fun lunch at a Mexican restaurant, a trip to the bookstore, a piggy back ride, and lots of hugs and kisses at the airport.  We’re so glad we had this time with her.  She’s planning a move back to our state when she’s done with school, and we’re so happy – for her and for us.  We wish her all the best in everything she does, and we’re so proud of her.  I am so glad that we have an open adoption with Z.  <3

Waiting for her birth mom

(anticipation at the airport)

We have  had a countdown going for a few weeks now.  And then this past week Zoe asked us every day if it was Friday yet.  And today was the today:  her birth mom came here for a visit.  We’re so happy to see her and spend some time with her.

I’ll write more about it later…looking forward to the rest of the weekend!

Color Me Rad 5K–I DID IT!! (I have pictures to prove it!)

In the comments section of my last post, A to Z asked me if we are planning to adopt again.  Well, we’re not sure yet.  We are in the talking about it stage, I guess.  We would like to learn more about adopting from foster care, but we haven’t ruled out domestic adoption, either.  So we’ll see!  We have a lot of research to do.

Laura wrote that she gets worried as she reads about the adoption process and that they are hoping to adopt three children.  She asked, “Are we crazy?” for wanting to adopt three.  I don’t think you’re crazy.  I think you just have to go into it with as much information as possible and with the willingness to be flexible when needed.  I wish you all the best as you figure it all out!

Birthmothertalks mentioned she is doing the Color Run soon…yay!  I think you’ll really like it. 

Last Saturday I ran in the Color Me Rad 5K (similar to the Color Run) with my cousin and her friends.  I have never run a race before.  I’ve been running for about 6 months or so.   I have run the equivalent of a 5K at the gym and at the park, but I have to say that this was much harder!  I can proudly say that I ran the entire race, even when I had to run up a hill near the end of it!! (Seriously, who puts a hill at the end of a race?!?!)  If you haven’t seen it before, as you run volunteers throw rainbow-colored cornstarch at you.  They also spray you with liquid color.  All while you (or at least me!) are huffing and puffing along the race path. 

My cousin stayed with me as we ran, and she really encouraged me to keep going.  That meant a lot to me.  What an exciting – set a goal and reached it – day! 

Before the race we took some pictures…(I’m on the far left in this photo, my cousin is 3rd from the left and the other two women are friends.)

Our clean shoes before the race!

They will take pictures of you beforehand – you can compare the befores and afters!

Our extra color packets are ready!  You can buy extra packets for fun plus they give you one (or three!) to throw at the end.

Steve, Zoe, my parents, and my sister, Janice, came to cheer us on.  They were                      standing on the side of the hill that I would soon be running up when this picture was taken.

Just a tiny bit of color!

Did I mention it was HARD?  It really was – my legs were begging me to slow down to a walk, but I didn’t give in.  It was so cool to be doing something I had been thinking about doing for a long time. 

Crossing the finish line (thanks for the picture, Janice) – it’s not a timed race, but we did it in 38 minutes.  That’s over 5 minutes better than my best time.  I love the striped socks on the girls behind me…if I run this again I’ll have to come up with something creative!  Lots of people had crazy tutus, fun hats, and bright socks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I look totally crazy in this picture, but it’s still pretty funny!

 

If you ever thought about doing this race (or any race), I really recommend it.  It was so much fun, especially because of my cousin and her friends – they made me feel like part of the team.  Steve really encouraged me to go for it and do it – he gave me so much encouragement along the way while I was preparing.  I’m really glad that Zoe got to see me run – even if she was a bit taken aback by all of the color!  She got to see me do something that I had been working towards, and she got to see me having fun doing it, too!

 

 

 

 

What would you like to ask me?

Getting ready for something new this weekend…I’m running my first 5K!  Steve and I have been going to the gym a couple times a week for the past year and a half (since his surgery.)  About 6 months or so ago I decided to try running on the treadmill instead of just walking.  It was really hard in the beginning.  I slowly built up from just a minute or two to 10 minutes or so and now I can run the mile.  I have actually run the full 5K (3.1 miles) before, too.  It’s not pretty, but I can do it!  This weekend I’m running in a non-timed race – it’s the Color Me Rad run where as you run, they throw packets of colored corn starch at you.  I expect to be looking like a rainbow by the time I’m done!  I guess it’s something I had wanted to do (at least in the back of my mind) and when I saw that my cousin signed up, I asked her if I could join her team.  I’ll post some pictures soon!

__________________________________________________________________

Do you have any questions you would like to ask me about adoption – it can be about the process, about openness, about what it’s like now that Zoe is a preschooler? 

I would be more than happy to answer them in the next few posts!

Being Connected

I had planned to start this post in a slightly different way, but I just saw a trailer for a documentary about adoption called Closure and want to share it with you.  It’s a film by Bryan Tucker, and it’s about his wife, Angela, and her journey to find her birth family.

You can read more about it and watch the trailer here:  Portrait of an Adoption.  It’s just a couple minutes long but just those few minutes brought tears to my eyes.   A woman (possibly Angela’s birth mother) says ‘and for the rest of my life, I’ll be connected.’  She’s describing how she feels since Angela found her.   It kind of took my breath away.  I can’t imagine the not knowing…whether you’re an adoptee or a birth parent (or a sibling or other family member.) I can’t imagine that.  And what a sense of closure it truly must be to finally meet those people that have been missing from your life.  It makes me even more grateful that openness in adoption is more frequent now.

You can also help Bryan get his project funded…there is a link on the Portrait of Adoption site (at the link above) for his Kickstarter campaign.

__________________________________________________________________

Being connected is what I was originally going to write about.  Thursday night we attended a fundraiser gala for our adoption agency.  We were asked by our caseworker if we would host a table at the event.  We said yes and asked some family members and friends to attend. 

As the fundraiser got started, they showed us a short video that included some of the people who work for our agency and how they are personally connected to adoption.  A youth choir performed.  We heard speeches from some of the people who run the agency as well as a family and their two children. 

We listened to a radio personality speak about her personal connection to adoption.  The keynote speaker was a man who adopted two of his children and encouraged everyone to not be ‘practical’ because being practical doesn’t create change.  (The title of the even was Change a Life; Change the World.) 

It was amazing to be in a room surrounded by people who have been touched by adoption.  We got to see our caseworker as well as Zoe’s birth mom’s caseworker.  We saw other people that we recognized from the agency as well.  We saw adoptees and adoptive families come together for the evening’s event. 

We are so happy that we could attend and be a part of such a special evening.  It was great to be in a room where you could really feel how much everyone had been touched by adoption.  We’ve already been asked by other family members and a friend if we can invite them to next year’s Gala, too.  Looking forward to it!

Getting creative…

Our adoption agency put out a request on Facebook asking if anyone might be interested in making handmade cards for them.  They send the cards to expectant mothers, birth mothers, waiting couples, and families.  My mom, sisters, and cousins are very into making cards, so they offered to help, too. 

I don’t know what our final count was but I would guess between 40-50? I officially dropped them all in the mailbox today and they are on their way to the agency.  It’s something that we’re going to do every couple of months.  It’s nice to continue to be involved.  We have a big event coming up next month, too – our agency is having a fundraising dinner.  We’re really looking forward to it! 

An early birthday gift

My parents’ birthdays are coming up this week.  I had seen a neat idea on Pinterest where a daughter wrote to her father’s family members and friends and asked them to send letters, cards, and pictures for her father’s birthday.  Everyone wrote about their favorite memories or special things  they remembered about her father.  I wanted to do this for my parents and my sisters were both on board to help.  We sent a letter out to a lot of their family members and friends and waited.  The cards started to come in a few weeks later.  Eventually we started organizing them into a scrapbook.  One of my sisters who lives out of state was in town this past week, so we used that as an opportunity to give the book to my parents. 

 

 

 

 

I think they really liked it, and I think we managed to surprise them, too!

We’ve had a busy weekend, filled with errands, shopping, a neighbor’s soccer game, a visit with my parents, and something new…a dance class for Zoe.  She started taking a beginner tap class on Saturday.  We were allowed to watch and take pictures through the class.  She had so much fun and even got to see one of her classmates from preschool there. 

 

Old photos and memories

Ever have those days (weeks?) where you think a lot about the past?  I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.  I think it’s a combination of reasons why.  A couple of weeks ago, I spent some time looking at old pictures and it brought back a lot of memories…of my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, of what is was like for us growing up…

My parents taught us to be kind, they taught us to be curious, and  they taught us to love each other.  They showed us how important family is by including our grandparents in our daily lives and our special events.   The picture above was taken on our front porch right before our gymnastics show (check out those sequins!)  I love the look on my grandma’s face.  Even now it feels like she was proud of us. 

They showed us how important family is by organizing birthday parties and holiday parties.  Everyone would hang out, have dinner, play board games like Trivial Pursuit, and just spend time together. 

They showed us how important family is by telling us family stories, saving family photos, and by making time for each other.  Sure, I have some not-so-great memories from my childhood (don’t we all?)  but overall, I have really positive memories of growing up.

I hope that we are doing that for Zoe, too:  creating traditions, showing her how important family is, and creating lasting memories for her.  It seems like she went from that baby/toddler stage to this little lady in front of us overnight.  Traditions (like putting reindeer food out for Rudolph), family dinners (at our house or Grandma and Grandpa’s), trips to the park or the pool, visits with her birth mom and her family, dance lessons, learning how to ride a bike for the first time…it’s pretty exciting to think that she’ll have her own “old photos'” to look at someday of all of those childhood  memories.  And I’m so grateful that we get to help her make them. 

a day early…Happy Easter!

We’ve been busy getting ready for Easter Sunday…

Mom Mom Cheryl, Zoe’s grandma on the East Coast, sent her a box of goodies that arrived this week.  She sent some art projects that Zoe had fun putting together.

We made sure to visit with the Easter Bunny.  She was a lot more excited and a lot less nervous this year…

We did an egg hunt (or maybe three!)

She was busy at preschool learning how to use stamps and paint…

We might have visited a second bunny earlier today…we had fun hunting for eggs with Zoe’s cousins…

We even planted a flower…

I’ll leave you with a pic of our bunny cake that’s half Easter dessert/half birthday cake since we were celebrating two birthdays in our family this week! 

Happy Easter to you and your family!