Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It took 5 years to get to these next 5 weeks

"How do we know where our journeys may ultimately take us?" This is how the epilogue to Forever Lily, a story about an adoption from China, by Beth Nonte Russell starts. I read the book back when we first started considering adoption, and I thought we might actually pursue international adoption instead of domestic. The author writes about how, over the course of the past 5 years, her life changed dramatically. It makes me think about how our lives have changed so much over the past 5 years, too.

Five years ago this month we moved to a new state (well, new for Steve but it was the state I grew up in) and a new home. We scrambled to make the move happen in a short amount of time. We were closing on our home, and I was starting a brand new teaching job all within a matter of a few days. So not only were we setting up a new home, I was setting up a new classroom. The home we bought was our first house - we had always rented in the past. This was a HUGE step for us.

I started the new job and met hundreds of new students and many new coworkers. Steve continued to work his same job but in a new location. He had to meet many new coworkers, too. It was an adjustment for both of us.

We always knew that we wanted to have children, but we waited until after we had bought the house and we felt we were ready. Then after trying on our own for a long time, we moved on to a fertility specialist. She is a great doctor, but things just didn't work out for us. We got to a point where we knew that we needed to go down a different road. We had talked about adopting for quite a while. Even back before fertility treatments - we talked about it back then. When we decided to adopt, I felt a sense of relief. I felt like we had finally found a way to start our family. That this way might work for us. I felt a new sense of hopefulness that I had lost along the way during the infertility procedures.

The ups and downs are still a part of the adoption process, but I think we have felt more of the ups this time around. In the beginning, it was hard to hear that our profile had been shown but not picked. Part of you is happy that it's being shown, but the other part of you wants to know why you weren't chosen. Then we got the call on a Friday afternoon in June that changed everything. We feel really fortunate that our wait time was short considering what it could have been. We feel really lucky that we've been able to get to know the birthmom and some of her family. We're hoping that maybe we'll be lucky enough to spend more time with them before the birth of the baby.

I am so thankful for this situation. For us to have met her and to have spent additional time with her is a gift. We realize that not every adoptive parent has that same situation where they get to meet their child's birthparent(s). We're writing a journal about getting to know her - we'll give it to Zoe when she's older.

So much has happened in five years. So much transition, newness, starting over, beginnings, endings, emotional highs and lows. I wonder what I would have said if you had asked me 5 years ago where I thought I would be 5 years later. I'm sure I would have said that I would still be a teacher. I know I would have said that we would be still be a happily married couple. And I'll bet that I would have said "hopefully I'll be a mom." And to think...that looks like it might actually come true in about 5 weeks. Looks like our journey to parenthood might just be beginning...

23 comments:

LL said...

Such an exciting time. I am so glad that you are building a relationship with Z and some of her family.

These next five weeks are going to go by fast...and you are so right-it is a gift...the perfect gift.

Bella said...

Awww...this brings tears to me eyes. So happy for you and that you get to know Z and for the precious gift she is giving you! Can you believe you'll be a mommy in FIVE weeks?! Eeeeekkk!!!

Erica said...

I'm so happy for you two! I know that it has been a long journey. Time seems like it flies and then drags LOL Pretty soon, you'll be posting all about your new little bundle of joy! YEAHHH!

Erica

E said...

Wonderful post, Wendy...it is really happening for you. It is truly amazing to see where our journeys take us. I never would have thought 10 years ago when we got married that we'd still be waiting for #1 AND through adoption! This is where we were meant to be though.

Looking forward to reading during the next 5 weeks and after when your little one is here! Hugs, Eileen

RB said...

Beautiful post Wendy. Your baby will be here before you know it!

Jamie said...

i can't even read this without getting all teary eyed and having flashbacks of our own journey to get where we are today.
i'm sooo happy for you and for the happiness you are experiencing while waiting for your daughter. :)it's a very magical time indeed! :)

i'm making my blog private and wanted to make sure you knew that ~ just send me your e-mail address if you want to continue following us on our journey. :)

BARB said...

It is a wonderful journey Wendy!! These next 5 weeks will go by very quickly!! John and I are sooo excited for you both!! You will be such loving parents! Can you believe it?? You will be holding your baby in a few weeks and "BE A MOMMY"!!!

Tara said...

I am crying tears of joy for you. I am so happy for yall. I don't think many of us would have imagined things that have happened over the past 5 years...But, I am excited for yall's happily ever after as a family of 3!

Wendy said...

Thanks so much, everyone. I have tears in my eyes right now as I read all of your sweet comments.

Hmm...Jamie, do you know something I don't know?? My sisters think it's a girl, too! We don't know yet, though!

Jamie said...

oh my gosh ~ i don't know where that came from!! lol!! :) all along i've been thinking "girl"........i guess that just slipped out without me even thinking about it! :)

Wendy said...

That's okay! My friend Barb called me last night and thought I forgot to tell her!

Parts of me wish we knew but mostly I'm excited for the surprise!

Oh, and I left you my email on your blog since I read that you were going private.

birthmothertalks said...

Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I enjoy your blog.

Amber said...

I gave you a blog award! Check out my blog!

Wendy said...

Thanks so much, Amber!

Melba said...

It really is amazing when you look back over where you've been and how things have changed.

This process is incredible, and life changing...to say the least!

I am so happy for you guys, and can't wait to find out who your little person is!

Melba

Lost in Space said...

What a great reflection post, Wendy. It's crazy to think back to where we all were 5 years ago and all that has happened in that time...so many changes and ups and downs along the way. I think your next 5 are going to be some of your best yet.

I'm so glad for the time and information you are able to gather and share with Z. What a blessing.

You are almost there!!! Big, happy tears for you.

Next in Line said...

I can't believe you are looking at 5 weeks! How can time go from feeling like forever to flying by? I thrilled to bits for you, Steve, Z and the little one on the way that you all found each other.

Lynnette said...

Hello Wendy,
I am so glad things are going well. The next five weeks are going to go by so fast. It sounds like everything is going well. I am so happy for you and Steve.

Infertility is Hard said...

Thinking of you every step of the way. I hope you and Steve have a lot of peace these next 5 weeks. Your time has finally come. :-D

Vanessa (FF) said...

Wendy, I am just so thrilled for you!!!! You are going to be an amazing mom!

Tracey said...

So happy for you...Samuel was born last December and the adoption was final on May 6th. Can't wait for your dreams to come true!

Dee said...

I am so flipping happy for you. When I saw your comment I literally jumped off my couch & said "YEAAA!!!". I am sorry it took me so long to come on over here and congratulate you.

I am crying tears of joy for you right now. I cannot wait for you to bring him {or her!} home with you for good.

Much love from the bottom of my heart

Wendy said...

Awww...Dee!

So happy to see your comment. :) I think of you so often and hope you're doing okay.