Monday, June 23, 2008

So Upset Earlier...

The IVF nurse called and left a message on my cell phone. Unfortunately, I was in a workshop all day and couldn't really check my messages/or call her back. When I got to my car and listened to the message, she said that my progesterone was fine, but my estrogen was low: 128. The last time it was checked it was at 775, so that's a huge drop. She just said that I should increase my estradiol tablets to two a day instead of one.

After I drove home and really thought about it, I started to get pretty worried. Last time we did IVF, the same thing happened, but I remember the doctor saying she thought it might have been a lab error and not my actual level. So here it happened again, just a few days away from my beta. Pretty worried is an understatement. I was freaking out.

I talked to DH and he said I should try to get a hold of the nurse to ask her for more information. I tried emailing her, but the email came back to me. I decided to call the on-call line for the nurses. I'm so glad I did. I would have been worrying all night about it.

She said that there haven't been any studies done that show that low estrogen prevents you from getting pregnant. She also said that they have been doing their own internal study and have see women with higher estrogen not get pregnant and women with lower levels get pregnant. That made me feel better. She said they just wanted me to increase the dosage to bring it up a bit higher, but they are not worried about it.

I have been trying so hard this cycle - trying so hard not to cry, trying so hard not to get super-emotional, trying so hard to not take out my stress on dh, my family, or my friends, trying so hard to be positive and think about the good things that could be happening, tryng to just hold it together in general.

DH said he thinks I just hit a wall tonight. I started getting all choked up on the phone with the nurse and then after I hung up, I just started sobbing. I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I have to admit - I do feel much better. Maybe I should have cried a bit sooner :)


Lost in Space said...

Huge hugs, Wendy. First, I'm glad you were able to get some reassurance that all is well. Second, you need to let it all out, girl. Go read my bitchfest for some inspiration. I promise you will feel better to just let it go. (:

Hang in there. Lots of positive thoughts coming your way.

Chelle said...

Keep your chin up! I'm glad that you called and I am glad that you finally released all that emotion! You can't just bottle it up.. it has no where to go!

I am really hoping for you..(((HUG)))

Karen said...

I'm can't believe I'm actually going to start a comment by saying "My therapist says. . .", but my therapist says that a good cry actually changes you physiologically. That's why you really do feel better after it. So cry away if you need to.

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you this week.

Suzanne said...

Same as Brenda - I'm glad you were able to get some reassurance from your RE. Phew!!

And, no worries about crying - I think we all hit that wall at some point. This whole process is more emotionally than physically demanding and it does take its toll. We are all here for you!

Polly Gamwich said...

I'm sorry for the scare. I hope it doesn't mean anything.

And I'm so glad you had a good cry. The intensity of taking a test after IVF must be Cr@zY making and you need that release.

I so pray tomorrow brings you the beginning of the next 9 months!

kaaron said...

Hi there, I found your blog via a comment on No Regrets. Hope you don't mind.

It is so good to get it all out! IVF is so physically and emotionally draining it's little wonder you hit a wall. I definitely hope things go your way from here on out. GL!